The Donald

As the 2016 Presidential race heats up, it’s looking more and more likely that *gulp* Donald Trump will win the GOP Presidential nomination. Jeez, I don’t even know where to start with this one. Frankly, I’m hesitant to even comment on it because it scares the shit out of me. To think that that ferret on his head looking douchebag could possibly have even the slightest chance of becoming the most powerful man in the world is like imagining going to a strip club only to walk in and see my own Mother shaking her jiggly bits on the pole. In other words, it’s my worst nightmare.

The Donald is everything that other nations hate about America. The subliminal but also, sometimes, overt racism; the arrogance; the gun toting, hate spewing, American flag swimsuit wearing, ‘Merica chanting redneck with a beer in one hand and a Bible in the other. He’s the closed-minded Uncle at family parties. He’s the creepy old guy with his hand down his pants on the subway. He’s the awkward mid-blowjob fart. He’s personifies everything a normal human being would try to avoid at all costs, and yet, he’s winning.

What the actual FUCK is wrong with all of the idiots that support him? Are you blind? Are you deaf? Do you happen to be Helen Keller? (Too soon?) I ask these questions because when I look at Donald Trump, when I watch him give his slandered campaign speeches, when I listen to him spit his hyper-partisan hyperbole and rhetoric, I cringe, and I can’t understand why every other single citizen of this great nation doesn’t do the same.

In conclusion, we’re all fucked.


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